Stages Of Relationships
The Typical Stages of Relationships
Although many couples rarely direct any thought to the workings of relationships, studies have shown that there are indeed several stages of relationships. Admittedly, two people working towards a committed relationship rarely retain the same outlook throughout the duration of a long-lasting relationship. We are going to talk about the five main stages of relationships and how each stage can impact the stability of the relationship.
All relationships begin with the same initial element: infatuation. This is the first stage in a committed relationship and is often referred to as the "romance" stage. At this point, the couple is seeing their newfound partner with "rose-colored glasses" on. Both partners are generally on their best behavior and keeping a tight leash on the things they say and do. In this stage, one is most likely to feel that their partner can do no wrong. This is likely an opinion that stems from the abundance of activities and preferences that a couple has found in common with each other. When one is so overwhelmed by their good fortune to find the "right" person, it can be very easy to overlook less desirable personality or behavioral traits.
The second stage is called the unveiling of reality, or the "disillusionment" period. During this time, the couple is slowly opening their eyes to the true person that is their partner. This is often when a person realizes that their partner isn't a god or goddess--they are human and have faults just like the rest of us. Things that they never noticed before are now starting to become known, such as their partner's habit of drinking straight from the milk carton or something a little more serious, like flirting with other girls or guys. In this stage, the hormones that were once overflowing the bodies of a new couple are starting to level out as they naturally develop a connection that makes them comfortable with one another. This particular stage is often a confusing time for a couple and it can be a little discouraging to realize that the "newness" has gone and the reality of one another isn't as flawless as one once believed.
The third stage is often referred to as the power struggle period. This is one of the toughest stages to get through in a relationship and is often seen as the "make or break" stage. During this time, the couple will be combing through one another's flaws and surveying each one under a magnifying glass. Inside they are asking themselves whether or not this is a flaw that they can live with. For instance, realizing that one's partner has completely different spiritual beliefs may be a "flaw" that they can't bring themselves to live with. In circumstances where the flaws are less severe but still annoying, these traits can seem to intensify in one's mind until something snaps and they have to "draw the line". This is where the power struggle comes in. Each person will step back a bit and begin setting guidelines of acceptable behavior or actions for their partner. The only way to get through this stage is for each person to seriously consider the conditions their partner is proposing and forming compromises. For example, the guy may agree to put the toilet seat down if the girl agrees to keep her feminine products out of sight. Or for more of a serious compromise, the girl may agree to wear less revealing outfits if the guy agrees not to use pet names with other women. In some cases this ends up being the last stop on the relationship tour for couples who realize they simply can't or won't overlook each other's "flaws", or if they can't meet a compromise.
The fourth stage is known as the stability period. This usually occurs when a couple finds peace with the compromises and boundaries that were set in stage three. Each person becomes a little more confident during this stage because of the trials of the third stage. Comfort and friendship grow exponentially in this stage. Some people do find that they become "bored" in this phase of the relationship because the nerves and excitement have gone and the sense of peace can, for some, feel dull. A sense of loss is also common as one has had to "give up" the excitement and make compromises in their own life to achieve the newfound bond with their partner, but this feeling usually passes.
Stage five is the final of the stages of relationships. In this stage, real love is found by accepting the flaws and loving one's partner despite them. At this point, a couple has seen one another for who they truly are. They know their strengths and weaknesses and have bared all--heart, soul, and probably body--and have accepted one another, loving them truly for all that they are. By this stage, they are no longer "I and my partner", they are a team, a true couple. They look out for one another and put their partner before themselves. They are ready to take on the world together as a unit and will continue to grow unhindered by the "minor trials" that the early stages of the relationship once brought.