Insecurity In Relationships
3 Great Ways to Overcome Insecurity in Relationships
Most people at one time or another will experience some trouble with insecurity in relationships. A little insecurity is normal, but occasionally this feeling can grow to crippling proportions and end a potentially happy relationship.
Be it fixating on problems, comparing relationships, or guessing what goes on inside your significant other’s head, there are several signs that you may be wavering in your confidence of the longevity of your relationship. If you are one of the millions of people constantly questioning your value to your spouse or significant other, take these 3 tips into consideration; they just may save your relationship.
1. Keep It Positive
Every relationship is going to have its ups and downs. People who focus on only the negative generally tend to experience more anxiety and insecurity in relationships. Instead, switch gears and focus on all the wonderful aspects of your marriage or relationship.
It’s often tempting to nitpick at everything that seems to be lacking, but ignoring these negatives and enhancing the positives will help you see your relationship in a new, brighter light. Perhaps you share an interest in the same music or both enjoy reading the same literature.
2. Don’t Compare the Old and New
Everyone is guilty of this at one point or another, but comparing your new relationship with a past one can spell disaster. As tempting as it may seem, assuming anything about your new love based off of your old flame’s behavior is incredibly destructive and should be avoided. Just because your ex may have wronged you in some way does not mean that your current significant other is going to do the same thing. To assume or expect this is unfair to your lover and to the relationship.
On the flip side of this coin, it is also a bad idea to expect your significant other to measure up to an ex of yours. They are two completely different people that have led two completely different lives. You may have fond memories of your ex, but remember: you broke up for a reason.
3. You’re Not Psychic, So Don’t Assume You Read Minds
One of the worst things you can do in a relationship is to make assumptions about what your spouse or lover is thinking. You are not in their head, and can only base your opinions off of how you personally react to stimuli. It is completely unrealistic to believe that you know what thoughts are going through anyone else’s head at ay given time, particularly if they assure you repeatedly that you are wrong.
One of the biggest signs of insecurity in relationships is also constantly wondering and asking about what your loved one is thinking. Many people are guilty of this, so much so that movies and television shows are constantly lampooning this behavior. If your significant other has something on their mind and feel comfortable enough with you, chances are they will willingly give you this information without having to be prompted for it.
Keep in mind that some people recuperate from a stressful day by not talking; many people just like to surround themselves with their inner thoughts and reflect on the day they’ve had. This does not mean that they are brooding or do not have interest in you anymore, so don’t wander down that path.
Following these steps can go a long way towards repairing some of the damage in your relationship. Keep in mind, however, that some relationships are, in fact, bad and should be ended. If you follow these tips and still experience problems with insecurity, you may wish to contact a therapist or relationship counselor.